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“A Beautiful Jar in the Process” — Poem by Isabella Novsima Sinulingga

A Beautiful Jar in the Process

I want to be a resilient jar

But the Potter does not make jars that cannot be cracked.

I want to be a jar with bright colors to compliment

like the color of butterflies and flowers

But the Potter covered me with a variety of colors and chaotic patterns.

I want to set up such a slim pen that is used by teachers to write

But the Potter formed me like a cheap plastic bowl sold in the market.

 

I want to be a finished beautiful jar

But the Potter is never done with me.

Every time the Potter touches my body

I hope I will soon be finished;

But when She sets up, scrapes, pastes, and repeats again

She makes me feel unfinished:

I think this pattern does not fit; the colors are not supposed to be like that,

this form is not appropriate!

I questioned Her love to me.

 

I know She is not finished!

Although sometimes I feel abandoned, left alone in uncertainty

But why do I still miss Her coming?

On my waiting, the fragility, colors, patterns, and all of Her settings

become my identity as Her creation

And I love it!

 

Somehow I began to love the chaotic experience as harmony

Like when I saw Her dancing with the homeless,

Like when I smelled the steam rice She cooks for the street children,

Like when I heard Her serenity in war,

Like when I feel Her embrace for children with intellectual disability,

She gripped their hands!

 

She is the Best Friend who appreciates every detail.

I was a jar that had been cracked several times and would probably go get cracked again

I was a jar that had a lot of colors and patterns that seemed disharmonious

I was a jar shaped like plastic bowls used by beggars to get a handful of rice

But I am loved by the Potter

 

I want to love Her by giving myself as She gave herself to the hunger

I want to be filled with milk to pour it for the forgotten

When my body cracked, I hope it is cracked to be parts for other jars

In this way I am experiencing Her love

And I want to love Her more.

 

10410198_10203987823875783_5807296969299553476_nIsabella Novsima Sinulingga is a Global Scholar from Indonesia, and is focusing her academic work on exploring disability theology. ¬†She is an active member of McCormick’s Global Communities and serves as a deacon for the student body.